In my ongoing quest to solve the problem, two weeks ago I visited a Chinese herbalist / acupuncturist. (This, after months of futile $50 copay doctor appointments and a full battery of contact allergy testing.) Frustrated by two rounds of failed acupuncture, said healer prescribed an alternative medicine chest full o' herbs late last week. Herbs, to drink. Stinky, witchy, weird-looking herbs. Much like my ailment: herbs that are unidentifiable, infinitely odd, and endlessly colorful.
I'm double-boiling them right now, fearing the moment of ingestion.
Man they stink.