10 Things Robbers Won't Steal From Your House

1. Your TiVo. (I assume it's too darn big to fit in the Yahoo! backpack they used to steal your iPod and your laptop.)
2. A bronze sculpture affectionately dubbed "The F*ers", gifted to you by your artsy grandmother, also very large and very heavy.
3. A photo on the fridge of you, your husband, and Dave Matthews. (priceless)
4. Your 1 gig SD camera memory card containing celebrity photos from the Toronto Film Festival.
5. "The Thorn Birds," in paperback.
6. A note from your grandmother describing the handed-down necklace that no longer exists.
7. Cheap but treasured earrings.
8. A custom-made wrist brace for your repetitive stress injury, emptied out of aforementioned Yahoo! backpack. Very thoughtful.
9. Food.
10. Insanely enough, your cat.

They will steal your iPods, laptops, pointing devices, and all your heirloom jewelry.

You'll also wait more than 1.5 hours for the city police to arrive to take a report (still waiting) and you'll be very, very glad you weren't home at the time they broke in.

Fun times in San Francisco.