I am not good at fixing my archives.

A while back, I wrote down a few things I thought I was good at, despite them being relatively worthless skills. (Painting my nails, a flawless command of the TiVo remote, etc.) Since then I've decided that, as I think of them, I should write these things down -- perhaps at the end of some undetermined gestation period, they'll hatch into a brilliant business idea or a brand-new, ultra-successful career. To that end, here are two skills I've recently recongized:

1. Visual copying? I'm not sure what to call this. Like, copying an artist's work into my own version. (In pastels, of course.) Or, copying the arch of someone's eyebrow, or the line of their lips, for my annual Halloween costume extrvaganza. I'm probably not the world's best copying expert, but I'm pretty damn good.

Perhaps I should try counterfeiting.

2. Asking celebrities (and semi-celebrities) for autographs. A few weeks ago at Cafe du Nord, I was nominated by my group of friends to request the autograph of one Mr. Josh Ritter: a very talented and incredibly sweet (but heretofore-and-otherwise-unknown-to-me) musician. I thread myself through the crowd, sidle up to Josh, and compliment him on his show while batting my eyelashes and thrusting forward a notebook and ballpoint pen. (Please bear in mind that *real* fans came armed with CDs and Sharpies.) Feeling like a total fake but too late to turn back, I hug Josh post-autograph and profess my undying love. Mission, accomplished.

Actually, maybe this one's a character flaw rather than a skill.

I'll keep thinking.

You may have noticed, or not, that I didn't post ANY photos in all of July or August 2003! How in the heck will I ever prove my existence for those two key months of my life. Madness.

Luckily I have a plethora of photos to prove the joy of Heather's Bachelorette Party, aka "Heather's Last Heartbreak." (In case you're wondering, "Heartbreaker" is Heather's signature karaoke song.) I mean, there were pedicures and popcorn and penis cakes. There was a red veil and there was lots of red wine. We played games, we did shots, and by god, we wore t-shirts!

And how can I leave out the KJ's sweet serande or our ill-gotten booty.

All this, in just one day!

An excellent photo recovery, if I do say so myself.

Door #1, or Door #2?