allyson and bryan

How to Bathe Like a Hungarian /


Donning our swimsuits for the surely last time this year, Bryan and I consulted our trusty guidebook, hopped on the quirky Budapest subway (VIDEO), and headed to the city's famous Szechenyi Baths for some thermal relaxation. It was our only day in the city and the highlight, we hoped, would be our Hungarian bathing experience -- one I'd been looking forward to since the start of Europe planning. The weather was gorgeous and we had four hours to spare before our overnight train to Krakow.

As we neared the Szechenyi stop, I tried to commit to memory the guidebook's paragraph entitled "Procedure." It all seemed terribly complicated, much more so than the "upscale but touristy" Gellert baths, which we chose to forgo in favor of Szechenyi's alleged local flavor... "Budapest at its best."

We were not disappointed. The baths were a people-watching heaven, they were fun, and we were completely relaxed. Three hours spent at Szechenyi were unique and unlike any other experience on the trip so far.

So, should you ever find yourself in Budapest without helpful "Procedure" instructions, or if you're just curious what it's all about, here's how to bathe like a Hungarian.

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Step 1: Enter the huge bath complex (it looks like a gorgeous palace) from the correct side, depending on the season. (During peak times, a long line of bathers queue up at the main entrances.) If there are such lines, try the door facing the Zoo.

Step 2: Review the complex English-language price list, as well as the complex map. Pay the cashier the proper amount. S/he hands you an electronic credit-card-like ticket. Show this to the gatekeeper and pass through the turnstile.

Step 3: Before you change, make any necessary (and I do mean necessary) massage or treatment appointments. There are various vendors within the bath complex from which to choose.

Step 4: If you need to rent a towel, robe, swimming cap or Speedo, do so now by going downstairs to the bottom level. Try to avert your eyes from naked grandmothers roaming the halls.

Step 5: Go back upstairs to change in your private cabin, if you've rented one. (It costs a few dollars more than a locker, but you can share with your companion.) Show your electronic ticket to the cabin attendant who looks like Russell Crowe's Hungarian cousin. He will take you to an available cabin while muttering in Hungarian and drawing maps for you on the wall with chalk.

Step 6: Take turns changing in the cabin. It's quite small.

Step 7: Once you emerge from the cabin, explore the baths' endless array of indoor and outdoor pools. Choose from indoor baths up to 40 degrees celcius, outdoor wave-pools, mineral-laden swimming holes, saunas, and steam rooms. Observe the tourists mixing in with the locals, the age range of 1 to 100, and every possible body type, shape, and size of swimwear. It's a scene.

Step 8: Once you're sufficiently waterlogged, repeat the cabin procedure in reverse.

Step 9: Proceed to your Thai massage appointment after changing into dry clothes. While upstairs, sneak in a few quick pics for the folks back home.

Step 10: After massage, meet your also-massaged husband by the cashier. Become confused by the third different currency conversion in one week, and unintentionally tip each masseuse 50 percent. Hyperventilate when you realize this.

Step 11: Head back downstairs to return your towel and retreive your deposit. It's not enough to make up for the tip mishap, but it helps. Hand your card-ticket to the attendant when leaving and receive a $1 discount for staying less than four hours.

Step 12: Hop back on the subway, take out notebook, and start writing blog post.

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As I type this up, Bryan and I occupy our own little sleeper car on the overnight train to Krakow. I couldn't be happier -- I just love cozy, small spaces with tiny everything, moving parts and free bottled water. We arrive in Krakow at 5:45 a.m., so I'd better get to sleep.

Besides blowing the budget in Budapest, we had a really great day. The baths were fabulous, as was walking across the famous chain bridge connecting Buda and Pest. Oh and I had my favorite meal to-date in Europe the night before: grilled fish with Camembert melted on top, surrounded by asaparagus puree. Mmmmmmm.

Five stars for one day in Budapest: No churches or museuems, just oodles of naked Hungarians and a two very happy Thais.

stars, they're just like allyson @ 9:53 AM  

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